How is it that I was not enough? How can I ever be enough? What if I’m not enough?
Am I thin enough? Am I smart enough? Am I making enough? Am I doing enough? Do I have enough? I am not enough.
We seem to be obsessed with enough. And yet, we never seem to quite feel like enough. Whether it be for ourselves, for others, for the job, the boss, for the status, for society…
We sure can be mean to ourselves can’t we? We hear the words from others who did not fully appreciate our greatness ringing in our ears as “truth.”
When we are self-deprecating, putting ourselves down how much does that make us want to improve? Not a whole lot. I know that any time anyone has said to me, “You’ll never understand this,” or “Your grades aren’t good enough,” or “You’re not smart enough,” “You shouldn’t have eaten the cake, you won’t be attractive enough”…the list goes on…it does NOT make me want to suddenly change things all around and be better! Instead it makes me dig my heels in deeper and not change. Now maybe that’s just me and my super stubbornness…but in my years of doing therapy, I find that most people behave similarly. If instead, I feel encouraged by others, am told I am on the right track and to keep it up, I feel much more motivated and more likely to keep trying.
Would it be so crazy to do this as we talk with ourselves? Use our internal dialogue to tell us that we are on the right path or that we deserve to do better? That we are worth it? That we are actually good enough? That the only person we need to compete against is us? and that we are already winning? How much easier would this make things? Maybe we would actually finish the task, complete the goal, keep pushing to be great. Not for anyone else but for us.
What does “enough” look like anyway? Have you asked yourself this? How will you know when its enough? Maybe we could accept that we are already enough? Even if we are in the midst of learning something new, or we’re not quite at the perfect weight, have the perfect job or make the perfect amount of money. You are human. You do not have to be perfect to be enough. We are all a work in progress, that’s what makes life interesting. If we had it all down to excellent, what would be left for us to learn or grow from?
So my invitation to you is this: Tell yourself that you are enough. That you are beautiful or handsome and smart and captivating. That you are perfectly imperfect and that is what makes you unique and amazing. Even if you don’t believe it at first. Every day look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are on the path to greatness and that you are and always have been enough. Smile instead of furrowing your brow at yourself. While you’re at it, encourage those around you, your family, your friends, your co-workers. Remind them that they too, are enough. Watch yourself transform. Watch your world transform. Seeing yourself through a better light helps you see the world through a better light. The beliefs we have about ourselves and others become our truth. And the truth is: you are truly, gloriously, remarkably, enough.