Overcoming the Fear of Failure

What an awesome week this has been! I have to start by expressing gratitude as my coaching business is gaining momentum and I am finding that this is exactly where I am supposed to be in my life at this moment. I have spent this week interviewing people in their 30’s about what it is that they are lacking in their life and/or what they would like to improve. There were lots of themes (and I still have a few more interviews to do), but one of the themes that almost everyone said was “fear.” When I questioned further, as I often do, and asked, “Fear of what exactly?” after a short pause, “Fear of failing” or “Fear of letting people down” or “Fear that it was all for nothing” were among some of the responses I received.

Fear. What a pain. It gets in the way doesn’t it?! I had a young client this week talk to me about her fear of making videos (as it is her dream to work in film) for fear that she will be dissatisfied with them and is not creating the thing she loves most. She was stuck on not have a good enough camera, equipment, etc. or it not being “just right.” We all do this in some way don’t we? We make excuses as to why we can’t just do the thing, whatever the thing may be, because all our ducks are not in a perfect row, and until that is perfected, nothing else can be done.

What did I tell her? The same thing I will say to you. Jump! (metaphorically of course) Do the thing! Make a film! Either make a film with your phone on a five dollar tripod or buy a more expensive camera with the money you have saved. I don’t care, but do the thing NOW! Start in the next 24 hours. Expect that it will suck. Expect that five years from now, you will laugh at how unbelievably bad it was. But do it anyway! Do it because of this and if you fail, that’s amazing! That’s something to be grateful for! When we fail at things, we learn from them. We grow. We improve.

This fear thing? This failure thing? Letting others down, letting yourself down, etc etc etc. Take away its power. Expect that sometimes you’re going to fall on your ass. Expect that someone will have an opinion about what you are doing with your life. Sometimes you will feel as though you put tons of effort, money, soul into something that doesn’t go quite as you imagined. Embrace it. Love it. Stop running from it. Look forward to failing instead. Fail fast and fail hard. Then you have data to stand back and look at what worked and what didn’t and move forward. Beats the hell out of being stuck huh? and when we take away the power from Fear, it falls apart, much like telling a bully “thank you” when they try to cut you down. ( I teach that to kids too) It takes away its power and  there is nothing left to fear.

What are you afraid of? What is holding you back? What excuses are you telling yourself? Decide to do it anyways! Decide to live your most authentic life, make friends with failure, and remember that things are usually not as bad in real life as the image we have created in our mind.

As always, if you would like some one on one coaching around something related to this or moving through barriers that have kept you stuck, I’d love to talk more with you. Please see my contact page for information on setting up a free 30 minute consultation call with me.

Warmth and Gratitude,

Melissa

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