How to Make Positive Affirmations Actually Work


I feel like I touched on this a little in my blog on confidence, but I wanted to go a little deeper on the whole positive affirmation thing. People tell me all the time that they feel “fake” or as though they are lying to themselves when they say something in the form of a positive affirmation. As a result, they either don’t do them at all or try them, briefly, think, “This is stupid,” and stop.

Here’s the thing: you have to make them realistic for you. Find a quote you love and think it every day. Or browse Pinterest (or anything else you search for things on) and look for positive affirmations that actually speak to you. Write it down and put it somewhere you will see every day. Say it out loud. Follow it with one (or three) “thank you’s” to source/spirit/God (btw, I heard this today and loved how nicely that encompasses most people’s belief systems). Some ideas I’ve found that feel less “fake” to people are:

-I believe in the person I dream of becoming

-I am now creating my life as I want it to be

-I choose faith over fear

-Today I choose joy and peace

-I am grateful for all that I am, all that I have, and all that I experience

There are so many options though, I encourage you to seek out your own, or create it. As I have been moving forward in my coaching, I have personally been using, “I am limitless” as my daily affirmation among others. Whatever comes to mind for you is likely the path you need to follow.

One other tidbit that I find helpful as negative thoughts come up is the skill of “Nevertheless.” For example, you might find yourself thinking a negative thought such as, “I wish I hadn’t yelled at my kid.” You can reframe this as “Even though I yelled at my kid, nevertheless, I am a good mom.” Another example might be frustration with losing weight. You might say to yourself, “Even though I still have 15 more pounds to lose, nevertheless, I am working towards my goal every day.” And just like before, I always end with 3 Thank you’s, as I truly believe gratitude holds enormous power.

Even though _________, nevertheless, __________. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

The way we speak to ourselves is more valuable than any other conversations you have during the day. Work towards recognizing your own inner critic and pushing back against it. This does take practice but if you make part of your daily routine, you will find it gets easier and easier.

As always, if you would like some one on one coaching around something related to this or moving through barriers that have kept you stuck, I’d love to talk more with you. Please see my contact page for information on setting up a free 30 minute consultation call with me.

Love, Light, and Gratitude,





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