You Are in Charge of Your Mind


You are responsible for your mind and therefore your results. This is a presupposition of NLP. I cannot take credit for this simple, yet profound statement. I think it might be my favorite though. We make choices. Every. Single. Day. We can come up with all sorts of stories about why things aren’t working out for us or why we “can’t” do all the things we want to. But at the end of the day, we are the ones responsible. If we want something to be different, we must commit to changing our mind, believing something other than we currently believe, and getting the result we desire.

Any time we want to achieve something new, we must first decide we are willing to do whatever it takes. And then, do whatever it takes. As I have been working with people on their stuck points, changes or results they want to see in their life, the first thing I ask is-are they willing? Are they willing to change things? Are they willing to let go of the thing that is keeping them stuck? Are they willing to acknowledge that what they have been clinging to with white knuckles is the thing causing their pain? I ask these things because change is a choice. It’s not an easy choice, but it is a choice, nonetheless. I can give someone all the tools on earth, but if they are not ready, nothing will happen.

Change has to first happen in our mind. When we take responsibility for our thoughts, then the possibilities becomes limitless.

Something notable here though, is that if this is true for you-it is true for everyone else as well. Meaning that you are ONLY responsible for your own mind and no one else’s. We can show others options, possibilities, ways to see the world differently…but we cannot do it for them. We are responsible for our own mind and our results. I am not responsible for your mind or your results. We cannot and will not be happy, truly happy, as long as we are carrying the responsibility of other people’s happiness within us.

We can teach our children how to be responsible. We can teach them how to love others, care for people, show empathy, but we cannot do this for them. Our parents, our friends, our colleagues, and our clients…we are not responsible for their mind either. See how freeing this can be? I can help someone see the advantages of changing their mind, how this will help them, how this will give them a lightness about them, once all the bricks on their back have been unloaded, but they have to be willing to unload them. I am not willing to break my own back to carry it for them either and I find this does not work. Instead, I am now just as heavy hearted as they and yet this does not seem to lead to their improvement. Instead, we are just both lost now. How can I lead you through the darkness if you are not allowing me to illuminate the path ahead?

So, this week, let us take responsibility. Let us know what is ours to own and let us release that which is not ours. Let us make choices that benefit others as well as ourselves. Ones that allow us freedom and light rather than keeping up stuck in a place that is no longer part of our story.

As always, if you would like some one on one coaching around something related to this or moving through barriers that have kept you stuck, I’d love to talk more with you. Please see my contact page for information on setting up a FREE 60 minute Creating Confidence Strategy Call with me.

Love, Light, and Gratitude,



1 thought on “You Are in Charge of Your Mind”

  1. lindyariff says:

    Miss you, sister ❤️

    Lindy Ariff, LCSW | 424.272.7142 | |


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